Monday, February 18, 2013

My unassisted birth

Thats right... an unassisted birth. After two c sections. Say what?? Yeah. After being told with my first that I had a "small pelvis" and "too big" of a baby, I did it. I gave birth naturally. And honestly, I would never put myself though that again. There won't be a next time, but if there were, I would have drugs... and lots of them!

I went into labor at 3:30 on Sat morning. Contractions, were 20 mins apart for about 22 hours. Around 2am on Sunday I woke Jesse up. I had gone from early labor to active, contractions were still only about 10 mins apart. Around 6am my water broke, nice and clear. We had been planning an unassisted birth, but knew we could come in to the hospital and still get a vaginal delivery (side note, I've had two caesarean births and could not find a provider that would straight up tell me I could have a trial of labor). By this point my body was pushing for me. And I was screaming every time. My throat is a bit sore. We figured out I had a bit of a cervical lip and so Jesse started helping me. We tried several different positions in the birth pool, then moved to our shower, then moved to the boys shower. When we ran out of warm water while I was on hands and knees, I was going to get out. I moved into a squatting position and started screaming at Jesse that he was coming. Holy ring of fire!!! Two good pushes and his head was out, two more and out came the rest of his body. He did have the cord around his neck, and instantly pooped on me. The big boys slept through EVERYTHING until they heard the baby cry at 7:25am.

Things did get a bit scary afterwards. Went into the hospital about 3 hours after he was born and on the way in I passed out in the car. Jesse even pulled over and called 911. The reason we didn't call the paramedics from our house, is we wanted to go to the hospital my dr is with, and not the local one. Got to the hospital and I get out of the car and just gush blood everywhere. I had a post partum hemorrhage, just like with Levi, but not as bad. Baby checked out fine, after a dose of pitocin, I am doing fine. I am the proud owner of a pair of hospital scrubs. :-) I did also tear, but not where I thought I would have. I tore on the right side up to my labia. So I am sporting some stitches too.

Caleb Leroy, born at home, into his daddy's hands at 7:25am on Feb 17th. 7lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. 28hrs of labor from start to finish.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Horrible Haircut

-2 days down, 9 to go

All it took was me cutting my 4yr old's hair to end up red faced yelling at him. He's gotten hair cuts, usually does just fine. I even gave him a lollipop to sit in the chair. And sit he did. But here is what set me off....

He was crying that it hurt. Even after I showed him that it didn't. He kept being so dramatic about it! And he is this way about SO many things. Things that have never bothered him before. And I found myself screaming at him. If he had said, "the noise scares me" or something else, we would have talked about it. But he said it hurt.

When the haircut was all over (since once you start, you really can't just stop) I asked him if it hurt. "No mommy, it didn't." UGH!! Then why were you CRYING that it did???

It doesn't help that he has had an attitude all day. Enough so that he had to stay home from preschool. Not more than 10 mins before we started cutting his hair, he shoved his little brother. When asked why, his response was "He was in my way". Oh man, if that is not enough to just set you off... The baby was just standing there, he walked up and shoved him.

There are so many things I hate about yelling at them. The tears from all parties, even those not involved. The intense anger I feel at even having to yell.

I have to say though... even with the odds stacked against me, my first haircut didn't turn out too bad. Now to just convince the hubby to let me do his.

39 weeks and counting

I can not believe that I am 39 weeks pregnant. I thought for sure baby would have been here last weekend. Nope. The full moon in Dec did more for me than the one in Jan.

Just my luck, I'll have the baby the week my brother is visiting. And yes, this is a problem.

Overall, I am feeling good though. I'm up about 37lbs, so far, less than both my previous pregnancies.

Sleep is for the weak

Day 3 down, 4 more to go

Or something like that. I usually go to bed somewhere between 11 and midnight.

Last night I managed to make it into bed at 8:30. Just to be joined by a cute little 18 month old. He snores. A lot.

And of course I was up every 2hrs to pee. My night looked like this
  • asleep around 9pm
  • awake at 11:30 to pee
  • asleep around midnight
  • awake at 1:30 to pee
  • asleep around 2
  • awake at 3:30 to pee
  • asleep around 4:30 after sending the preschooler back to bed
  • awake at 6:30 to pee
  • asleep around 7
  • awake at 8 cause my alarm was going off and the preschooler was up
This does not reflect the small bouts of crying done by the toddler, or him snoring himself awake and thus scaring himself. Or the head in my back from said toddler.

Then the preschooler starts off the morning by lying to us. Mommy is short on sleep, and you want to act up? Really dude?

Thankfully mommy had errands to run in town and was able to escape. The preschooler was kept home from school because of his poor attitude, which has only continued through the day.  Lunch time is almost over, and then its quite time for the household. Believe me, it can not come soon enough.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Throwing in the Towel

2 days down, 5 more to go to goal #2

No, I'm not quitting the Orange Rhino Challenge.

But lets talk about throwing things.

An almost sure fire way to get mom to yell at you? Throw things at your little brother. Or throw your fork at mommy. Both of these happened this morning. And you know what? I didn't yell. Oh, boy, I wanted to.

While eating pancakes this morning, Levi was not getting more fast enough. When I told him to calm down. he threw his fork at me. Oh boy.

For whatever reason, Jacob has begun to think that throwing toys is the way to go. Not in this house its not. Whats even worse, is when he throws them AT Levi.

But mommy has kept her cool. Not easy though. Even Jesse has noticed this and told me to step away and he would take care of it. This is an entirely different battle. I have to let go of the control and let him do his job as daddy. Not an easy task.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Mommy is really close to yelling

 Day one done. On to the week goal (Feb 1-7)

When I feel myself getting to the point where I just want to yell at my kids, I've started telling them "Mommy is really close to yelling, I need...." and then its either for my 4yr old to zip his mouth, or for them to go to the playroom, or for them to listen.

Things that make me want to yell
  • My 4yr old just talking and talking and talking. Its not his fault, he comes by this trait honestly... but it still drives me to want to yell at him to just SHUT UP.
  • Either child not listening or following the rules
  • Things not getting done around the house (no one said everything had to be because of the kids)
  • No coffee (even though Jesse put me on decaf for the remainder of my pregnancy)
  • Not getting enough sleep. This is one that makes me really cranky. Everyone knows it. I have to make a habit to get to bed at a decent time. Plus, it helps that Jesse has been getting up with Levi.

I told my husband I made it a whole day without yelling.  He said I seemed happier. Sure, I guess. I have naturally low blood pressure, I'm sure not yelling just makes it that much better :-P

Once you start yelling/screaming you just can't stop

Friday, February 1, 2013

Maintaing my cool - Day 1

The day is not all the way over, but I've made progress! I told my 4yr old this morning on the way to school that mommy is going to try really hard to not yell. But I do need his help. He needs to try and listen better.

I did raise my voice slightly at the 18month old when for the upteenth time, he got into the dvds. Why oh why do they have to be shinny and so cool to play with??

My boys love playing together, but with a 2.5yr age difference, sometimes its hard. And the baby doesn't communicate as well as the 4yr old did at this age. So they fight. And when they fight, I yell. Except so far, there has been no yelling. Mommy has calmly reminded them they need to play nicely. No taking toys from each other, and no throwing of toys. Said calmly, no yelling.

This morning my husband told me he read yesterday's post. He then goes on to tell me, he didn't realize that yelling was such an issue for me because I do it all the time. What a wake up call. I yell enough that its just considered "normal" around here. Well not anymore!