No voice and a toddler

It is SO hard to parent a toddler when you have no voice. It really is. But here I sit trying to do just that.

My chest hurts, my throat hurts, the whole no voice thingy, and I am tired. The upside to all of this? There are little to no medications that I can take that will not either dry up my milk, or make it so Levi ends up on the loopy train. Don't you wish you were me? HA!

I feel like I need to apologize for my lack of blogging here lately. Kids have been sick, I have been sick and in between I have been trying to kill the germs with my army of Lysol products. Both Jacob and Levi seem to be allergic to the first round of antibiotics, Levi is done with his, Jacob is almost done. Hopefully I won't need antibiotics and we can kick this sickness out for good!

Lets also add in the fact that both cars need work. Jesse's is the worst. The CV axles on both sides need replaced. BAM! $120 later... The Passport still does this weird freakout thing at about 70 mph. Gremlins, I'm telling you. Oh and Jesse's car also needs O2 sensors, and some other work.. its a 4 door sedan that is getting the gas mileage of my suv. This is what happens when you drive two paid for 10+ year old cars. But its still less than what it would be with car payments. So there is a silver lining.

I'll leave you with pictures of the cars, I'll blog more when my thoughts make more sense to me.

Stupid Deer

Thats right folks. I hit a deer. Stupid deer was hanging out in the middle of the highway and I KNEW I was going to hit it. Deep in the pit of my stomach I knew it. And I did. But not head on. I spanked the back-end of the deer. *disclaimer - I am trying to keep this lighthearted and further down will be the truth of how I feel*

Its times like these that I am glad I married someone who can work on my cars. For around $225 he can fix all the damage. Plus I get to see the chiropractor tomorrow. When I jerked the wheel to the left to avoid the deer head on, I pulled a muscle. Oh man did my shoulder and arm hurt. Add in a week of sleeping with a toddler and an infant in a full size bed and I am in MAJOR need of this!

Now for the cold hard truth.
I am scared shitless to drive outside of the city at night now. Last year I ran over a cat on the highway. This year I hit a deer. I got back on the saddle and drove again when we got closer to Boise. Then I almost hit ANOTHER deer. Plus I was freaking Jesse out. Every little movement that I saw out of the corner of my eye I tapped the breaks. I was a huge ball of nerves.

Then as we are coming home tonight, just a few miles outside of town, another DEER! Jesse had to swerve a little to miss this one. The deer had been in line to either run right in front of us or into the side of the car. The deer turned and ran the other direction. I on the other hand, did not fair as well. I burst into tears (thankfully Jacob was sleeping) and cried "I just want to go home".

I have to go out tomorrow. Its snowed up here so the roads are crappy and while I am sure I will be fine, I'm not so sure how my nerves are going to be. Eventually I will be behind the wheel again at night, in the dark, outside of the city. But its not going to be for QUITE sometime.

Even typing out how this whole thing has made me feel, has me shaking.