|Even he looks peaceful|
|Poor kid did not want to be swaddled|
10 months after his birth, we find we are expecting another baby. Shoot! I wanted more time between births for the best chance at a vbac. Wait a minute, I'm trying this again? Yes. I feel like we were designed to birth babies. Modern medicine is great. I think it has its place. But babies are born no longer at home (at least not for most of them) but in hospitals. The same places that people go when they are sick or dying. Not sold on bringing new life into that kind of environment.
Last pregnancy I stressed. I worried about what I ate, how much I exercised, what position baby was in. Up until recently with this baby, I worried about who was going to deliver him. Now, its no longer something I worry about. I have stepped away from the stress, found a few amazingly supportive groups on Facebook, and am trying my hardest to put my faith in God.
After Levi was born, I tried to bleed out. Obviously I didn't, but the verse that kept coming to mind, as the nursed and OB pushed on my stomach (ouch!) was
New International Version (NIV)
God loves me. He has plans for me. In those plans, he doesn't want to hurt me. Hmmm... Would a third c/s really be the end of the world? Probably not. But I also trust in my Lord. If that is what is needed, He will make it so.
This is where I finally feel ok. I can look at the pictures from my first son's birth and no longer cry in sorrow. I can cry now because they are the birth of my FIRST child and something to be treasured. I have found the love and support that I have needed all along.
Labor does not scare me. I am no stranger to pain. Baby #3 and I are going to rock this birth. Together, with the love of my husband, the support of my family, and the faith I have in my Lord to do right by me.
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