Thursday, October 18, 2012

My Caesarean Sections Part 2

Jacob was born via c/s at 10:47 am on Dec 9th, after 18 hours of labor. He was 9lbs 15oz and 21 inches long. I was labeled "small pelvis"  and "big baby". Not once in my OR report did it say "failure to progress". CPD (Cephalopelvic Disproportion) is where the baby's head and/or body is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis. True CPD is rare. Also, in true CPD the baby does not engage. Mine engaged. Had I been dilated, he would have come out that way.

After 4 years, I can finally look at this and smile

Almost 10lbs and beat up... poor kid had a rough go of it

I was so out of it, I barely remember meeting my 1st born. I know he got oxygen in the OR. But I didn't feel human until 1am the following morning. I hate that. Not to mention the side effects no one tells you about. I won't mention them here, but it wasn't until over a year after my c/s that I would truly be back to my physical self. It would take another year and birth before I was back to the old me emotionally.

We spent almost a week in the hospital, between the labor and delivery. I shuffled everywhere. I felt tore apart. I was unable to nurse him. I tried. I really did. But either he was just hungry all the time, or my milk never really came in. I vote for milk not coming in. I had NO issues not nursing him. At the time, I was totally okay with formula feeding. Thank God we got WIC, as formula for him was at least $120 a month. I still felt like I missed out on something. I had never really thought about how I would feed my child, I look back on it and while I am sad we couldn't make it work, I am pleased that I did not stress myself out trying to make it work. I wanted things to be different with the second baby.

So, I vowed my 2nd birth would be different. It was... and it wasn't. I stressed SO much about a successful vbac (vaginal birth after c section) that I didn't take care of myself. I was depressed, I was cranky, I was stressed out. Not the best way to be for baby. I didn't let go. I still held on to the fears and hurt from the first c/s. Even though I changed care providers and went with a midwife (who is amazing). Around 30 weeks, Levi was breech. I started to stress and worry even more. 36 weeks we got him head down. 37 weeks, he flipped back to breech. Now he wasn't just breech but he was a footling breech.

TO Be Continued.......

Part 1 
Part 3 
Unassisted Birth 

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