Friday, May 11, 2012

Mommy Wars

Recently Time Magazine came out with an article titled "Are you mom enough?" with a picture of a breastfeeding child. But this isn't just any child, in the picture you might think the child is 5 or 6, but he is 3. This is none of my business and not what this post is about. If that is what works for their family, then good for them.

Me baby wearing Levi while on an impromptu trip
The article featured on the cover of Time appears to do a few things. First it looks as though the article is about breastfeeding, and second it calls mothers out. The article is actually about attachment parenting. So why didn't this magazine show a picture like this? Because a picture of a mom happily carrying her baby (also known as baby wearing) wouldn't get the kind of reaction I assume this magazine was looking for.

My thoughts on parenting varies, but what it really comes down to is being "mom enough" to listen to your kids. It really does not matter if you baby-wear, or cloth diaper or breastfeed, or formula feed, or co-sleep or anything else. Its not a contest to see who is the best mother of all. Quite frankly, she doesn't exist. All you can do is be the best mother that YOU know how to be.

*photo courtesy of*

Back to the whole "mommy wars" portion of this post... I recently read an article here and it featured this photo. Its a complete mock up of the Time article that was mentioned above (needed to mention that as some have found it *could* be true). Its just a glimpse of the many debates that mothers either intentionally or unintentionally enter into.

I know mothers mean well, and I am sure I have been guilty of this also, but unless someone ASKS, butt the heck out! However, if you do end up asking for advice or opinions, please take them graciously. You don't need to agree with what the person is telling you. You don't need to do what that person is recommending. The polite thing to do is to smile, nod and possibly take what they said into consideration. 

Jax and Levi

There are always extremes. You could say one mother over feeds her kid, while the other under feeds, take a look at this picture.
These boys are 3 weeks apart in age. The one in orange actually eats MORE than the cute little chubby one. There is about an 11 pound difference between the two.  I can't speak for the mom of Jax, but Levi is SO tiny. I have been lucky enough to not get many comments about his size. But in all reality, he IS small for his age. With clothes on, you can't see it, but without, he has almost zero cute baby chub. I breastfed, J's momma formula fed. Is one better than the other? No. It was a personal choice for both of us. Her baby on formula was healthier than mine. Not just because he has more baby chub, but because unknowingly, my milk was making my baby sick. *yay gluten* My point being, you could have judged either one of us. One for over feeding and one for underfeeding, but you would have missed out on what going on. By judging you can either send a mom into a deep downward spiral, or you can just royally piss her off. Neither one is really worth it.

One of the things I am finding bugs me is hearing "I'm the winner and you're the loser". Really? It doesn't freaking matter! Are you having fun? Are you happy? Are you comfortable where you are? Yes, Yes and Yes. Then that is all that really matters in life. Its not who nurses the longest, or who got their kid to sleep in their crib first. Its not which preschool your kid goes to or that they could recite the Bill of Rights at 2. What matters is that you are being the best mom that you can be for YOUR child.


  1. I wholeheartedly agree with you. Stumbled upon your blog via TopMommyBlogs...I'm your newest follower:)

  2. Welcome Tara!!! Thank you.