My Caesaren Sections Part 3

Levi was born at 40 weeks, at 5:49pm on Aug 1st via c/s. He was 9lbs and 21 inches. And I remember every bit of it! I got to hold him and nurse him right on the table in the OR. I felt normal. After everything, even though it was another c/s, I felt good about it.

Even he looks peaceful

Poor kid did not want to be swaddled

10 months after his birth, we find we are expecting another baby. Shoot! I wanted more time between births for the best chance at a vbac. Wait a minute, I'm trying this again? Yes. I feel like we were designed to birth babies. Modern medicine is great. I think it has its place. But babies are born no longer at home (at least not for most of them) but in hospitals. The same places that people go when they are sick or dying. Not sold on bringing new life into that kind of environment.

Last pregnancy I stressed. I worried about what I ate, how much I exercised, what position baby was in. Up until recently with this baby, I worried about who was going to deliver him. Now, its no longer something I worry about. I have stepped away from the stress, found a few amazingly supportive groups on Facebook, and am trying my hardest to put my faith in God.

After Levi was born, I tried to bleed out. Obviously I didn't, but the verse that kept coming to mind, as the nursed and OB pushed on my stomach (ouch!) was

Jeremiah 29:11

New International Version (NIV)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

God loves me. He has plans for me. In those plans, he doesn't want to hurt me. Hmmm... Would a third c/s really be the end of the world? Probably not. But I also trust in my Lord. If that is what is needed, He will make it so. 

This is where I finally feel ok. I can look at the pictures from my first son's birth and no longer cry in sorrow. I can cry now because they are the birth of my FIRST child and something to be treasured. I have found the love and support that I have needed all along. 

Labor does not scare me. I am no stranger to pain. Baby #3 and I are going to rock this birth. Together, with the love of my husband, the support of my family, and the faith I have in my Lord to do right by me.

To get the whole story check out
Part 1 
Part 2 
Unassisted Birth 

My Caesarean Sections Part 2

Jacob was born via c/s at 10:47 am on Dec 9th, after 18 hours of labor. He was 9lbs 15oz and 21 inches long. I was labeled "small pelvis"  and "big baby". Not once in my OR report did it say "failure to progress". CPD (Cephalopelvic Disproportion) is where the baby's head and/or body is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis. True CPD is rare. Also, in true CPD the baby does not engage. Mine engaged. Had I been dilated, he would have come out that way.

After 4 years, I can finally look at this and smile

Almost 10lbs and beat up... poor kid had a rough go of it

I was so out of it, I barely remember meeting my 1st born. I know he got oxygen in the OR. But I didn't feel human until 1am the following morning. I hate that. Not to mention the side effects no one tells you about. I won't mention them here, but it wasn't until over a year after my c/s that I would truly be back to my physical self. It would take another year and birth before I was back to the old me emotionally.

We spent almost a week in the hospital, between the labor and delivery. I shuffled everywhere. I felt tore apart. I was unable to nurse him. I tried. I really did. But either he was just hungry all the time, or my milk never really came in. I vote for milk not coming in. I had NO issues not nursing him. At the time, I was totally okay with formula feeding. Thank God we got WIC, as formula for him was at least $120 a month. I still felt like I missed out on something. I had never really thought about how I would feed my child, I look back on it and while I am sad we couldn't make it work, I am pleased that I did not stress myself out trying to make it work. I wanted things to be different with the second baby.

So, I vowed my 2nd birth would be different. It was... and it wasn't. I stressed SO much about a successful vbac (vaginal birth after c section) that I didn't take care of myself. I was depressed, I was cranky, I was stressed out. Not the best way to be for baby. I didn't let go. I still held on to the fears and hurt from the first c/s. Even though I changed care providers and went with a midwife (who is amazing). Around 30 weeks, Levi was breech. I started to stress and worry even more. 36 weeks we got him head down. 37 weeks, he flipped back to breech. Now he wasn't just breech but he was a footling breech.

TO Be Continued.......

Part 1 
Part 3 
Unassisted Birth 

My Caesarean Sections Part 1

While preparing for the birth of my third child, I started to think about the births of my older two. Sure, I've talked about contractions and positioning of baby, but the thing I have not talked about is the thing that impacted me the most. My c sections. The more I talk to people, the more I read, the more I realize that I have to make sure that I have worked through any hidden issues I have from the previous two births. I can honestly say that I feel like c/s #2 was in my best interest. But it might not have been needed had I not had c/s #1.

C/s #1 - the Birth of Jacob. This is the one that I've had to work through. My anger, the hurt, and the sadness. I have also had to come to the conclusion that my OB was not there for ME. He was there for him. I labored less than 24 hours, of those my water had been broken for less than 18 hours (24 is when they start to worry about infection). Its funny, my labor was started around 11 am. Before 5pm, the OB was pushing a c/s. I wasn't progressing fast enough. Before I continue on, I feel like I need to give some background that lead to my induction.

The Friday before I had my 39 week check up. Everything was ok, but my blood pressure was a little high. Sunday comes along and while sitting on the couch I experience blurry vision. Weirdest feeling ever. Go to bed around 11pm, only to wake at 1am with a killer headache. Pop two tylenol and back to bed I go. Wake again at 4am and my headache hasn't changed. I call labor and delivery to find out if I can take something else, I just want to sleep! They ask about my BP and if my vision has been blurry. I answer to the positive on both, and am told to come in. After waking Jesse up we get there about 6am. BP is still high, I still have this headache but no protein in my urine (this is good). Around 9am, one of the OBs from my drs office comes to check on me. Now, keep in mind, I have been 80% effaced and 3-4 cm dilated for WEEKS now. By now, my headache has finally gone away. The OB says they can send me home, things look good. I know that I am starting to show warning signs of things not going right. I say, lets go with an induction. Almost 4 years later, and I still feel like this was the right choice, I just wish the events that followed would have been different.

Pitocin is started at 11am
Water broken at 1pm
Epidural got at 3pm, but only at 4cm and NOT because I wanted it *more on this later*
C/S pushed at 4pm

The first part of my laboring, I did fine. So long as I could labor in the tub. But suddenly, the nurses/OB are super worried about my BP. Wait a min, weren't you just a few hours ago, going to send me home? Nothing has changed except now, we are laboring. Baby's heartrate is awesome. Doesn't drop with contractions at all. Plus, he is at a 0 station! 2 hours after breaking my water, the nurses are pushing the epidural on me. Saying its better for the baby. They threw the "your baby needs this" card at me. What mother wouldn't do what she is being told is best for her baby? Against my better judgement, I get it. Now I get to start throwing up. Lovely. And I have had nothing to eat since 8pm the night before.

Women were not meant to labor on their backs. Had I been "allowed" to get up and move about, I am sure I would have faired better. I labor through the night. The nurse says I've made it to a 7! OB comes in at 9 and says I have made NO progress (I had gotten to a 5 before he left for the night) and that I "need" the c/s.

I bawled. I didn't want this. Surgery SCARES me. Thats right, I am terrified of someone cutting into me. For any reason. I will never have a boob job or tummy tuck because of this. An yet, I didn't beg and plead for more time, I said yes. I was tired, broke down, lost. I lost faith in myself (though honestly, not sure that I ever had it).

TO Be Continued........

Part 2

Part 3 

Unassisted Birth 

Cheesy Potato and Broccoli Soup

Who doesn't love a fall day? I love waking up, looking outside and seeing the mist on the lake (yep, I have a lake view). Fall always gets me thinking of all of the yummy fall type foods I can make. However, being a gluten free family, I am now running into the issue of finding soups that do not use flour. Yes, I could easily use a gf flour, but it sometimes changes the taste of the soup, or the consistency. I have found the solution! Here is my Cheesy Potato and Broccoli Soup.


Ingredients
chicken stock
celery
milk
potatoes *no need to peel
broccoli
ham
butter
shredded cheese
sour cream
salt and pepper to taste

How to do it

In a large soup pot pour about a 1/2 a cup of chicken stock into the bottom, add the celery. Let cook for awhile. Add the potatoes (cut up of course) and the milk. Cook until potatoes are almost done. Add the ham (precooked) and broccoli. Cook until done. Add the cheese (its up to you how much) SLOWLY. <-- very important, this prevents the curdle look that most homemade milk based soups get. Use the sour cream and butter to thicken. Again, add slowly. Serve with your favorite bread.

This soup only takes about 30 mins to cook. I LOVE it!

chicken stock and celery

after adding potatoes and milk

finished product

Even my kids loved this! I love when we can find a new family favorite.

Feelings about this pregnancy

I figure at some point, I can remember that I am indeed pregnant with another baby.

Thoughts on this pregnancy

• I feel like baby is a girl
• That on or around (+ or - a day) I will go into labor Jan 27th
• Hopeful that baby will be around 8lbs and 21 inches
• Labor will be fairly easy
• Not super long, like less than 12 hours

Well that is it for now. 4-5 more months and we will know how it all ends

Starbucks Pumpkin Scone - Bars

With Fall just around the corner, pumpkin sounds good. Not a big pumpkin spice latte fan (thank you but I will stick with my caramel latte) but I really love pumpkin bread. And Starbucks Pumpkin Scones. After working there for 2.5 years, its one of the few things I miss (that and the free coffee each week). So I found a recipe on Pinterest that doesn't use a ton of flour. Today is the first real dreary, Seattle like day since moving over here and I feel inspired.

This recipe comes from Just The Little Things.

Starbucks-ish Pumpkin Scones

Scones
2 cups all-purpose gluten free flour
1/4-1/2 cup sugar *somewhere between there, and I used white sugar but would probably do brown next time
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
6 tablespoons cold butter
3/4 cup canned pumpkin
5 tablespoons half-and-half
1 large egg

Powdered Sugar Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon powdered sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk

Spiced Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
2 tablespoons whole milk
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 pinch ginger
1 pinch ground cloves

Directions:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or line with parchment paper.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, and spices in a large bowl. Using a pastry knife, fork, or food processor, cut butter into the dry ingredients until mixture is crumbly and no chunks of butter are obvious. Set aside.
In a separate bowl, whisk together pumpkin, half and half, and egg. Fold wet ingredients into dry ingredients. Form the dough into a ball* dough didn't really form into a ball for me, it was a bit wetter, so I just poured it out onto a baking sheet

*Do this step if your dough forms a ball* Pat out dough onto a lightly floured surface and form it into a 1-inch thick rectangle (about 9 inches long and 3 inches wide). Use a large knife or a pizza cutter to slice the dough twice through the width, making three equal portions. Cut those three slices diagonally so that you have 6 triangular slices of dough. Place on prepared baking sheet.

Bake for 14–16 minutes. Scones should begin to turn light brown. Place on wire rack to cool.

Glaze:
Mix the powdered sugar and 2 tbsp milk together until smooth.
When scones are cool, use a brush to paint plain glaze over the top of each scone.

Icing:
Combine the ingredient for the spiced icing together. Drizzle this thicker icing over each scone and allow the icing to dry before serving (at least 1 hour). A squirt bottle works great for this, or you can drizzle with a whisk.

After they were baked

My husband says these are good. A "got milk" kind of bar.

How I spent my Sunday evening

I can tell you, it was NOTHING like I imagined it would be. Jesse cleaned the kitchen, we both picked up the living room, and then he started dinner. Tacos on corn shells. Mmm. Levi didn't want the meat or rice, but could have eaten his weight in black beans. It was smeared all over his face, everywhere. While sitting in his booster seat at the kitchen table, he put his feet up on the table and pushed. The end result was him falling backwards, splitting the back of his head open and mommy calling 911.

I am SO thankful that he missed the microwave cart that sits under the breakfast bar behind the table. Seeing him lying there, all I could hope for was that it was just blood. Nothing grey. I may have even silently prayed that. I started grabbing the towels and telling Jesse he needed to start applying pressure to it, that I would call 911. He said he would, but I knew he would have to ask me for information and it was just easier if I did it.

I was calmer than I though I would be, even though the dispatcher had to tell me twice to calm down. It was more that I was talking very fast, which I am totally aware, is not helpful to them. I got them all the information without having to be asked for it twice. Waiting for the medics to arrive felt like eternity. This was one of those few times that I really hate living out of town.

The medics arrive and were really nice. Very reassuring that these things happen. Levi finally stopped screaming, and as much as his screaming broke my heart, I wanted to hear it. He didn't like momma applying pressure to his owie. At this point, he started to get a bit sleepy, and that was concerning to me. So we rode the ambulance into town. Jesse and Jacob stayed behind and were going to come pick us up later.

4 staples later, here is the back of my little boys head

He took everything like a champ. Got home and after a bit of tylenol and "ba" (bottle with milk) he went right to sleep. Jesse stayed up and got up with him a few hours later to make sure he could be woken up. All is good, and before I know it, he will be back to terrorizing my house.

Baked Blackberry Oatmeal

Once upon a time I made baked oatmeal. No one liked it. Then my husband and oldest son went blackberry picking. I needed something to do with these berries. We made a compote for pancakes and then I found a recipe for a different baked oatmeal here.

And I wouldn't be me if I didn't make changes :-)

2 1/2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats
1/4 – 1/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, plus more for top
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk
1 egg
3 tablespoons butter, melted and cooled
1 1/2 cups blackberries, or other fruit

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Butter an 8” square baking dish.

In a large bowl, combine the oats, sugar, baking powder, spices, and salt.

In a small bowl whisk together the milk, egg, and butter.

Spoon in the oat mixture, and then pour in the milk mixture. Press the remaining berries into the oats, and sprinkle top with cinnamon.
Bake for 35 – 45 minutes, until the mixture is bubbling vigorously and the edges are lightly browned. Remove from oven and cool for 10 minutes. Slice up and serve with a sprinkle of fresh berries.

This was amazing!

After it was baked

The aftermath

Crazy Stain Fighting Mom

  Yeah, that would be me. I can't STAND stains on my clothes. I have been like this my ENTIRE life. When I was 11, I was watching a friend's baby sister while they were outside doing chores. She had chocolate pudding before I got there. As soon as I could, I stripped her down to her diaper and soaked her jumper in cold water. And the pudding stains came out. Its like this anti-stainness has been bred into me or something. With having a husband that works on diry, greasy things, this has not helped my need for stain control.

I've researched how to get formula stains out, grease stains, food stains, and there has only been ONE time in my existence of being a mom that I have ever thrown a piece of clothing away because there was NO way in heck I was washing THAT out of the clothing.

Which leads me to my current stain battle. The dryer in our new rental is leaving lovely brown marks on my clothes *insert a scream here*. Maternity clothes, sheets, even my husbands underwear. These stains do not discriminate! So after a frustrating weekend of not being able to get a hold of the landlords (do they not realize that laundry is important?), of trying to figure out what is causing the staining (I wish it was as easy as a brown crayon), and of spending 15 mins researching on the internet, I have *hopefully* found the solution!

In the lower left hand corner you will see the brown streaks

They are friction burns. The clothes get caught between the seal and put a mark on them. We will be replacing this seal as soon as its NOT a holiday weekend. Until then, my clothes are soaking in the bathtub, in cold water, with a splash of oxy-clean.

I used one of these

to scrub out the stain while it was still soaking. That way if it didn't all come out, I just threw it back in the tub to soak.  Also a smaller load of laundry seemed to help, as I had an entire load NOT have a stinking stain on it!

 

Clothes scrubbed clean and waiting to be re-washed

Come to find out, the heating element is also going out (my clothes where almost dry after 10 mins on the low setting). In the mean time (until we can afford a new dryer) this is how we will be drying our clothes. 

Ghetto clothes line, but it works!

There is a bright spot! I did manage to get the stain out of all of the clothes, so long as they did NOT go back in the dryer.

Gluten Free Products We Love - Dinner Items

 Gluten Free Dinner Items

I thought since I have a 3.5 yr old and a 13 month old that I should review some of the store bought gluten free products we have tried and liked. Look for a post later of products that we have NOT liked.

As I was going through the products that we like, I realized its really too many to list in a single post. So I will be breaking it up into parts.

 This is seriously some of the best GF mac and cheese. I think it tastes so similar to Kraft Mac and Cheese that I don't even miss that ole blue box.

Canyon Bakehouse breads. Yum. Not too heavy, holds up well and actually tastes like white bread. Worth the money spent.

This was pretty yummy too. With a little bit of gluten free soy sauce. Great for a quick meal at home.

This is super yummy and tastes just like you would expect it to.

 These are pretty good. A bit on the spendy side and you do have to watch how you are cooking them as they are easy to over cook, but over all not too bad.

Onion Rings and Cheddar Bacon Burgers

Tonight's dinner started out with a pregnancy craving. I wanted onion rings. After jumping on Pinterest, I found a recipe. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/almost-famous-bloomin-onion-recipe/index.html

Dip *I made a few minor changes. I didn't use horseradish and instead used Apple Cider Vinegar

• 2 tablespoons mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons sour cream
• 1 1/2 teaspoons ketchup
• 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon Apple Cider Vinegar 
• 1/4 teaspoon paprika
• Pinch of cayenne pepper
• Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

Onion *I wanted beer battered ones, so of course, I made changes.

Jesse drinking the beer after reminding me I needed to use GF beer

• 1 large sweet onion, such as Vidalia (about 1 pound)
• 1 1/4 cup Bobs Red Mill All Purpose Flour
• 1 1/4 cup Cornmeal
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 2 tablespoons paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 2 large eggs
• 1 bottle beer (I used Redbridge Gluten Free beer)
• 1 gallon soy or corn oil
• Kosher salt

Combine all of the dip ingredients in a bowl, cover and refrigerate.

Slice the onion (see below). Whisk the flour, cornmeal, cayenne, paprika, thyme, oregano, cumin and 1/2 teaspoon black pepper in a bowl. In a small deep bowl, whisk the eggs, beer and 1/4 cup water.

Mix the dry mixture with the liquid mixture until it forms a batter. Coat the onion rings.

Heat the oil in a large deep pot over medium-high heat until a deep-fry thermometer registers 400 degrees. Pat off excess flour from the onion. Using a wire skimmer, carefully lower the onion into the oil, cut-side down. Adjust the heat so the oil temperature stays close to 350 degrees. Fry about 3 minutes, then turn the onion over and cook until golden, about 3 more minutes; drain on paper towels. Season with salt and serve with the dip.

 Here is the result

 

The Cheddar Bacon Burgers from Wildtree (www.mywildtree.com/lglover) were not only gluten free, but not too bad. I however did not take any pictures of them.

And here is one of the reasons (if not the main reason) why I cook gluten free.

Dinner tomorrow night is chicken strips, fried pickles and roasted green beans.

Banana Oatmeal Muffins

   The other night we got down to the last of the bananas. You know, when they start turning brown and you stop eating them. Or at least we do in our house. There is always the tried and true banana bread, but in a gluten free household, flour is at a premium. When I spend over $7 on two pounds of all purpose flour, I tend to horde the stuff. So finding something that tastes good and doesn't use flour is a bonus.

Pinterest has some amazing looking things. But really until I've tried it or someone I know has, I really don't know how its going to turn out.

I used the recipe for Banana Oatmeal muffins from Keeping Up With the Joneses. I made a few changes. I used 3 bananas instead of 2, I added cinnamon (cause in my opinion banana bread needs cinnamon) and I baked them in mini muffin tins.

 Ingredients
*2 /1/2 cup oats (old fashioned kind, not quick cooking)

*1 single serving cup (or 1 cup) of plain low fat greek yogurt

*2 eggs

*3/4 cup sweetener of choice, I used the real stuff: sugar! or 2 tbs stevia sweetener

*1 1/2 tsp baking powder

*1/2 tsp baking soda

*3 bananas

Important: The paper liners don't work well when baking with a base that does not include flour, they always seem to stick to the paper. I sprayed the muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray or you can use foil cupcake liners or a silicone muffin pan.


Let the Baking Begin!
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray tin with non-stick cooking spray or line 12 muffin tins with silicone or foil liners, (or just use a silicone muffin pan). *I have baked them both as mini muffins and as regular ones. The minis came out SO much better.
2. Place all of the ingredients, including bananas in a blender or food processor, and blend until oats are smooth. *Important: I add the oats a cup at a time and then add the liquids. I have to stop the blender and stir a few times throughout as well. 
3. Divide batter among cupcake liners, and bake for 20-25 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean.*if using the mini muffin tins, cut bake time in half
4. Most importantly: Enjoy!!!

Here is how they turned out

 

And here is Jacob enjoying them

 

These were a HUGE hit with everyone in the family. Super easy to make. Moist, not too dense.

Please feel free to share my posts, pin them, whatever you would like to do!

Gluten Free Series

        I am going to do a gluten free series. I have a bunch of recipes pinned on Pinterest that I am dying to try. Something can look yummy, and just not turn out. Pictures are deceiving that way. Most of these the reviews, or comments say things like "I can't wait to try this". Okay, did you try it? Did it turn out? Was it tasty? I'll be honest here. I miss my gluten full breads. Olive Garden bread sticks, Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, homemade cinnamon rolls. You get the picture.  For my own sanity (and pregnancy cravings) I need to find an acceptable substitute for these items. Thus the Gluten Free Series. It won't be a daily post (or it might be) but anytime I make dinner and use a new recipe or make it GF, I'll share it here with you. Some recipes are my own, some will be trials from other bloggers.

I hope this is something you enjoy. Please feel free to share this blog and/or pin it.

Being Gluten Free

5 months old and starting to fade away

I am gluten free because my baby needs me to be. He was born a healthy 9lb baby. The pregnancy was normal and smooth. He was the perfect newborn.... for a week. He cried all the time (and this was not my 1st baby), 3 weeks old, he was sick with a cold. Where did that come from? It took over a month to get better. By 3 months, he never slept. Never. I was a walking zombie, even though big brother still took naps, there was no way mommy could even try to sneak one in. Then one day, he slept all day. I knew something was wrong. He had pneumonia. 3 months old and my baby was really sick. But mommy caught it in time. I just *knew* something wasn't right. The months went on, he cried and cried. And never seemed full, 5 jars of baby food, nursing, a bottle and still it was never enough. He was up to a whole 13 pounds by 6 months when he ended up with RSV. We have battled countless colds by this point, many sleepless nights and a constant runny nose. Then my big boy gets sick. Really sick. Countless hours are spent on the internet, researching things to make him better. When suddenly it occurs to me that it might be a gluten issue. My mom has it, so maybe my kids do too. A trip to the doctors and three days later we have our confirmation. Big boy is sensitive to gluten and little man can't have it at all.

12 months old and thriving

Now, just 4 months later, my 13 month old is starting to develop and grow. To do the things that babies are supposed to do. He finally doubled his birth weight, and is out growing his 9 month size clothes. He stands, and talks and naps. Oh those glorious naps!

What a difference a few months and no gluten has made in my baby.

Exciting new things

  I have been a horrible blogger. But with good reasons!

Jesse got a new job! He starts on Monday. This however brings some BIG changes to our family. We are leaving the house we have rented for the last year and I am moving in with my parents. He is moving here.....

Bremerton, WA. So for us, its pretty much a move across the state. But it will be SO worth it and I really feel like we are doing God's will with this move.

Here is our other exciting news......

As if two little boys weren't enough, we are expecting our THIRD baby (yes, just one baby) some where around the beginning of Feb. We will be finding out this time, cause I of course thought we probably weren't going to have any more and started to sell the baby stuff! Plus, it might be PINK and of course, she messes up the name of my blog (just kidding). We will need to outfit her will all sorts of cute girly baby things! 

So I haven't been blogging because all of my free time has been taken up by

1. Packing
2. Cleaning
3. Sleeping
4. and generally not feeling well

In a few short weeks, things are going to even themselves out, and I might write more. I do have something later I want to say about my 1st prenatal appointment. For now, I'll leave you with baby's stats.

HB - 169
Measuring 8w3d (should be between 9w0d and 9w4d) - this does have me a bit concerned. With LMP it should be 9w4d, and with MY cycles it should be the 9w, so baby is measuring a week to 5 days behind.

Happy 31st!

Birthday to my wonderful husband. Today did not go as planned. I woke up sick (been fighting something off for a week now), then Jacob woke in a bad mood, Levi was cranky, and I was babysitting. I really tried to pamper him. However, being sick made me short tempered. It was just not the way I planned. Instead, he took care of me. How did I get so lucky?

We loosely celebrated his birthday Sunday with an entourage of friends and family.  So here are pictures. The GIANT bounce house is courtesy of Jump N2 Fun. I realize that the birthday boy is in NONE of these photos.. but nevertheless... here they are!

Our Love Story

The first time I saw him, I was working at Starbucks. It was one of those hot summer days that kept you busy. The door chimed, I looked up from counting the hours until I was off and there I saw him. All, clean shaven, black tank top with black pants. It was obvious he had just gotten off work. I was instantly drawn too him. And I made a complete fool out of myself trying to be cool.
~ Lacey


When I walked into Starbucks on that fateful day, I never expected to meet the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.  I had gotten off work at another Starbucks and had stopped by this store on my way home for some reason, I forget why now.  I saw a pretty face snap up from the counter when I walked in, and I knew I was the center of her attention from the get-go.  Her over- use of smiles and just-a-little-too-quick responses made me realize that this beautiful girl was virtually twiterpated by me.  My mind went to that weird place that a guys mind sometimes does; that place where  everything around you gets muted and you're two people in a room, and you know the face you're looking at will never be forgotten.
~ Jesse


Jesse is that goofy guy that you love. He is funny and kind. What really drew me too him was how he treated me. I was his princess and he treated me as such. Even after that first day at Starbucks it was another few weeks before we would really start getting to know one another. One Tuesday I ended up working at the other Starbucks in town. It was crazy that day. I was almost late to work because of a drawbridge, I twisted my kneed and called out to my other job and just overall it was weird. Then he walked in. Not long after he clocked on, he hurt himself. In true Jesse fashion it was something silly. I asked if he wanted a hug. He actually said yes. I gave him a total deer in head lights look and walked away. Later on I suggested we hang out. You see, I already knew I wanted to get to know him better and I was going for it! We exchanged numbers and I began the dreaded "wait for him to call" game. He actually called me later that night and we went on our first date. Something deep inside of me knew that he was different and special in a way that I had never encountered before.
~ Lacey


Lacey is by far the smartest, and yet somehow the quirkiest woman I have ever met.  The smarts didn't come through so much the day that we worked together ever so briefly at my Starbucks.  You could tell she was having a day of it, and that somehow me walking in made it worse, but better at the same time.  Lacey showed me that day that I had an effect, that I mattered,  and that made me feel something I hadn't felt in a very long time. The too-quick responses, the tone of voice, everything about her manner said that she was interested in me as well.  I probably didn't give off the same vibe, but I was definitely eager to find out more about this woman who could seem so confident one second, and about to loose her head the next!
~ Jesse


One of the highest and at the same time lowest points was find out I was pregnant. Marriage had been discussed but never proposed. While I was instantly in love with my little pumpkin, I had no idea how Jesse was going to handle it all. He amazed me as he continues to do so. He was calm and rational and filled with love. Two months later we were married. Like many relationships that start out as quickly as ours did, there have been some trying times. Lots of tears, hurt words, the occasional throwing of a book. But when I am done with my tantrum, he is there to help me pick up the pieces. Jesse loves me with a Christ like love. I am not always lovable but here he is, right alongside me, loving me.
 
The second high point would have to be the day we said "I do". So many things were thrown my way that would make most brides lose it. All I could think about was how sharply dresses Jesse was going to be and how I couldn't wait to walk down the aisle of the quaint little church I had chosen.
 
The first years of our marriage were rocky. But we survived. Friends have come and gone, we have lost loved ones along the way,  but in the end, we are still here, still working on this marriage, still loving each other.
 
The last high and low point comes with the birth of our second son. I wasn't the birth I wanted for myself. I did however cry happy tears when Jesse told me to say hello to our Levi.
We have two little boys who are the best testimony to the love that we share. I hope we can be all that they need us to be. And I hope that I can continue to grow and be he wife that Jesse deserves.
~ Lacey


Sometimes I think my brain is wired in reverse; most people seem to remember the negative things that happen to them instead of the positive when they look back on their lives. I feel like the landscape of my marriage to Lacey has been defined by its peaks rather than its valleys.

When I saw the doors to the little church we were married in open and watched Lacey walk down the isle, it was everything I could do not to cry tears of joy. My heart cried out my love for her in a way my chest could barely contain. The birth of our first son, Jacob, made us a family instead of a couple, and I knew that we could do anything from then on. When Levi came so stubbornly into our family, I watched as my wife showed me what having what you want not be what you want looks like, and all I could do was be the support she needed and be thankful for a healthy baby.  Even the trips to say our final goodbyes to loved ones have been filled with moments that I look back on and laugh over.

I spent so many of my younger years being angry and negative. Once you have lived through what constant anger does and realize what it's doing to your heart and soul, it dulls everything until someone turns the volume up to eleven.  I'm more mellow than I used to be, for sure, and I still have my moments.  But I know that I will continue to grow with my wife and out little family for many years to come
~ Jesse

Are Men being squeezed out of boy's lives?

And really, is it just boys, or all kids?  After reading a blog post over here about boys growing up without Men in their lives, it got me thinking.

I would have to say that I am a traditionalist. I don't mean to insult but I think women should be in the home. With their kids. This however is not to say that this is the right choice for ALL women. Because its not.There are some fantastic stay at home dads out there.

This reminds me of a post a friend of mine over at High Gloss and Sauce wrote last year. No, I'm not going to tell you what it was, but trust me, it also got me thinking.

We live in a world right now where men with our kids is scary. Where we have to watch what we say when complementing men in hopes that it doesn't come off all sexual predator. A few bad apples (and a failing justice system) have ruined it for everyone.

I think there is more to it than just men being in kids lives. I think its also the Quality of the Man that is important. Does that Man show outward affection to those that love him? Does he have a love for God?

I understand that schools and churches are trying to protect our kids.  But what about the other places that should be protecting our kids. Restaurants with indoor/outdoor playgrounds, theme parks, indoor/outdoor play areas. Do all of these places run background checks on their employees? Not all. Drugs tests, sure. But to find out if the male (or female) you are hiring has a sexual predator background, well that just takes too much time/work/money. Right up until some parent finds out that their kid was abused at your place of business, then you are out not only the cost of the lawsuit, but the bad publicity.

Anytime anyone is going to be in contact with children, a background check should be done. What a better way to lessen the chances of a predator coming into close contact with kids. I say lessen, because there are always the few that have not been caught.

Back to the whole men getting a bad rap thing. Its not just Men that abuse!! Women do it too, but as society, we are much more trusting of females. I don't believe that they are any less likely to abuse. Men are called all sorts of things; womanizer, workaholic, abuser. And yet, women can be those things as well. They can be cougars, workaholics, abusers. But instead, society appears to applaud them for those kind of behaviors or completely ignore them. There are shows on mainstream TV that point in this direction. Even Kids tv doesn't show a lot of male influence. Cat in The Hat Knows a lot About That comes to mind. The only "male" influence is a cat.

What ever happened to Men being Men? Have women really been trying to push them out and victimize them in an attempt to be more "equal"? I don't honestly believe that women and men can be equal. There are just some jobs that God designed men to be better at and do better. Just as there are some jobs that God designed women to be better at. But for us to sit here and say that men and women should be equal, well its just not physically possible. Men are becoming more and more of a minority because of the views of society. I just don't think that is fair.

I want my boys to grow up working hard. Being hard workers. Earning what they have in life, rather than expecting it to be handed to them based on their gender, sexual preference or race. I want the same things for myself. I don't want a job just because the company has to employ so many women. I want it because I earned it. Because I am the best fit for the job. And if I am not the best fit for the job, I am not going to go running into the night screaming FOUL because I am a woman and the job was given to a man.

Next time you are out and about, take a look around. How many non family member men do you and your kids come into contact with? How many women?

Straight from the Oven - Gluten Free Delights

  I have a new business venture. Gluten Free bakery. Right now its small and still in my home. I hope to change that at some point. Right now its cupcakes, and I just did my first batch of muffins. I will be adding cookies and breads.

Check me out on Facebook if you'd like! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Straight-from-the-Oven-Gluten-Free-Delights/155956037867622

Cinnamon Doughnut Muffins

Wednesday

I wish I had a great blog post for the day, but quite frankly, I don't. Yesterday was a no good, terrible, very bad day. Today I am sick.. Instead I will leave you with pictures of my boys and the craziness that I love.