Horrible Haircut

-2 days down, 9 to go

All it took was me cutting my 4yr old's hair to end up red faced yelling at him. He's gotten hair cuts, usually does just fine. I even gave him a lollipop to sit in the chair. And sit he did. But here is what set me off....

He was crying that it hurt. Even after I showed him that it didn't. He kept being so dramatic about it! And he is this way about SO many things. Things that have never bothered him before. And I found myself screaming at him. If he had said, "the noise scares me" or something else, we would have talked about it. But he said it hurt.

When the haircut was all over (since once you start, you really can't just stop) I asked him if it hurt. "No mommy, it didn't." UGH!! Then why were you CRYING that it did???

It doesn't help that he has had an attitude all day. Enough so that he had to stay home from preschool. Not more than 10 mins before we started cutting his hair, he shoved his little brother. When asked why, his response was "He was in my way". Oh man, if that is not enough to just set you off... The baby was just standing there, he walked up and shoved him.

There are so many things I hate about yelling at them. The tears from all parties, even those not involved. The intense anger I feel at even having to yell.

I have to say though... even with the odds stacked against me, my first haircut didn't turn out too bad. Now to just convince the hubby to let me do his.

Sleep is for the weak

Day 3 down, 4 more to go

Or something like that. I usually go to bed somewhere between 11 and midnight.

Last night I managed to make it into bed at 8:30. Just to be joined by a cute little 18 month old. He snores. A lot.

And of course I was up every 2hrs to pee. My night looked like this

• asleep around 9pm
• awake at 11:30 to pee
• asleep around midnight
• awake at 1:30 to pee
• asleep around 2
• awake at 3:30 to pee
• asleep around 4:30 after sending the preschooler back to bed
• awake at 6:30 to pee
• asleep around 7
• awake at 8 cause my alarm was going off and the preschooler was up

This does not reflect the small bouts of crying done by the toddler, or him snoring himself awake and thus scaring himself. Or the head in my back from said toddler.

Then the preschooler starts off the morning by lying to us. Mommy is short on sleep, and you want to act up? Really dude?

Thankfully mommy had errands to run in town and was able to escape. The preschooler was kept home from school because of his poor attitude, which has only continued through the day.  Lunch time is almost over, and then its quite time for the household. Believe me, it can not come soon enough.

Throwing in the Towel

2 days down, 5 more to go to goal #2

No, I'm not quitting the Orange Rhino Challenge.

But lets talk about throwing things.

An almost sure fire way to get mom to yell at you? Throw things at your little brother. Or throw your fork at mommy. Both of these happened this morning. And you know what? I didn't yell. Oh, boy, I wanted to.

While eating pancakes this morning, Levi was not getting more fast enough. When I told him to calm down. he threw his fork at me. Oh boy.

For whatever reason, Jacob has begun to think that throwing toys is the way to go. Not in this house its not. Whats even worse, is when he throws them AT Levi.

But mommy has kept her cool. Not easy though. Even Jesse has noticed this and told me to step away and he would take care of it. This is an entirely different battle. I have to let go of the control and let him do his job as daddy. Not an easy task.

Mommy is really close to yelling

 Day one done. On to the week goal (Feb 1-7)


When I feel myself getting to the point where I just want to yell at my kids, I've started telling them "Mommy is really close to yelling, I need...." and then its either for my 4yr old to zip his mouth, or for them to go to the playroom, or for them to listen.

Things that make me want to yell

• My 4yr old just talking and talking and talking. Its not his fault, he comes by this trait honestly... but it still drives me to want to yell at him to just SHUT UP.
• Either child not listening or following the rules
• Things not getting done around the house (no one said everything had to be because of the kids)
• No coffee (even though Jesse put me on decaf for the remainder of my pregnancy)
• Not getting enough sleep. This is one that makes me really cranky. Everyone knows it. I have to make a habit to get to bed at a decent time. Plus, it helps that Jesse has been getting up with Levi.

I told my husband I made it a whole day without yelling.  He said I seemed happier. Sure, I guess. I have naturally low blood pressure, I'm sure not yelling just makes it that much better :-P

Once you start yelling/screaming you just can't stop

Maintaing my cool - Day 1

The day is not all the way over, but I've made progress! I told my 4yr old this morning on the way to school that mommy is going to try really hard to not yell. But I do need his help. He needs to try and listen better.

I did raise my voice slightly at the 18month old when for the upteenth time, he got into the dvds. Why oh why do they have to be shinny and so cool to play with??

My boys love playing together, but with a 2.5yr age difference, sometimes its hard. And the baby doesn't communicate as well as the 4yr old did at this age. So they fight. And when they fight, I yell. Except so far, there has been no yelling. Mommy has calmly reminded them they need to play nicely. No taking toys from each other, and no throwing of toys. Said calmly, no yelling.

This morning my husband told me he read yesterday's post. He then goes on to tell me, he didn't realize that yelling was such an issue for me because I do it all the time. What a wake up call. I yell enough that its just considered "normal" around here. Well not anymore!

The Orange Rhino Challenge

This is not an easy post to write. Its never easy to admit to faults that you try so hard to hide.

I yell. A lot. At everyone. Not publicly. My kids get the worse of it. My husband gets his fair share. And I hate myself for it. I hate the look on my boys' faces. I hate the way it makes me feel. I hate the mess it leaves behind. Thats a lot of hate.

Starting tonight (Jan 31st) I am enrolling myself in the Orange Rhino Challenge (you can read about it here).

Goals

1. Do not yell at all tomorrow (Feb 1st)
2. Walk away when the feeling to yell happens
3. Do not yell for a week (Feb 1-Feb7)
4. Write down triggers that make me feel like yelling
5. Do not yell for a month (Feb 1-Feb 28)
6. Count to 10 before speaking
7. Do not yell for 365 days (Feb 1-Jan 31, 2014)

I don't want to be that mom. The mom that is always yelling. With soon to be 3 kids in the house, this needs to stop.

I want to be the mom I see myself being, right now, I am not her.


June Cleaver, Here I come!!