Snow Day

I hate the snow. A lot. My oldest however did not inherit this trait of mine. He LOVES it. Lives for it. I will admit... it was a very nice powdery snow. The kind that make hardcore skiers and snowboarders giddy with joy. Here is my future snow dweller.

 Making a snow angel

 Admiring our snow angel

 

 Making a snowball

 

Throwing our snow ball

Tasting the snow on our tongue 

 Eating the snow.... with our face!

Hope you enjoyed!

Menu Planning Monday

We are supposed to get this major storm, moving in sometime tonight. So after a quick trip to the grocery store, I think we are set for the next week. Or something like that.

Monday: Dinner was at my parents, Ham...
Tuesday: Jesse and Jacob - Swiss Steak, Me: Wildtree Party
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday: Hamburger Helper
Friday: Spaghetti
Saturday: Scrambled Eggs and fried potatoes
Sunday: Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
Monday: Chicken Tacos


Visit Organize Junkie for more menus

I'm not going to write you a love song....

... Cause you asked for it.

Its funny how some songs can take you back to a moment. To a different place and time. They can bring you back to times of great joy, or great sorrow.

Love Song - Every time this song comes on, I am reminded of a phone call. Something so simple. This was the song that was playing when I made a phone call a few years ago that essentially ended a relationship. Though in all honesty, it was never much of a relationship. I guess its more of what it represents. Lost moments. Lost loves. Could have beens. Should have beens?

I remember it like it was yesterday. Especially when that song comes on. Part of me feels ... a sense of longing.... of loss.

Truly Madly Deeply  - A darkened gym, butterflies.... it all comes rushing back.... a dream to slow dance

Slim Shady - this is another that really brings me back. Heartache, loss... change. Tears that were never shed. A deep wish that I could have made time stand still.

You were meant for me - this one... well it pretty much was my theme song? were we meant to be? later in life, it seemed like the fates conspired against us (or for us). Life has gone on. People change. Love grows, matures, is different, if it ever was.

You Belong With Me - "She wears short skirts, I wear tee shirts. She's cheer captain, I'm on the bleachers"  - yeah... pretty much.

 

Eight Grade - 1998-1999

 

 Summer of 2000

The place life takes you can be funny at times. I was such an awkward teenager. So unsure of myself. More interested in reading and being a "good" girl than anything else. And yet... the memories are so strong.. the feelings. Conversations that were had, they are just strengthened by the songs that were in the background.

Can you believe that girl grew into this one?

 

Summer of 2006

June 6th, 2008

Bubbly - Love Song may have ended one chapter of my life... but this song began a whole new one...

What songs bring you back?

Voices from beyond

So whether or not you believe in the super natural, I still feel like I need to share my story.

Back in December of 2010 my Grandfather passed away. He hung on long after he should have. Two full days after they shut off the machines. He passed just hours after I was able to see him. Even now, I can remember leaning in, with tears in my eyes telling him that he was going to be a Great Grandpa just one more time.

Small backstory aside, I was hanging out in the kitchen last night. It was late, after both kids were in bed but before Jesse was home for work. Jacob has this toy.....

And it only works if you push the buttons. Not to mention, we have not changed the batteries since Jacob got it for a gift two years ago. Honestly, we have had no problems and its showing NO signs of needing the batteries changed anyway.

So back to last night. The dump truck got parked underneath Jacob's play table last night. Anyway, I am on the phone.. complaining about something, and what do you know, that darn truck beeps at me! Talk about freaked out.

This is not the first time something like this has happened. There have been toys at my mom's house that have gone off. The toys have been long broken... not working and suddenly, for just a moment, they work.

We are pretty sure its just my dear Grandpa letting me know, he cares, is listening and sometimes its a reminder to put my big girl panties on and deal with life.

759

I got accepted into the top mommy blogs! I am SO excited. So if you get a chance, stop by there and check it out. I am WAY at the bottom... #759 or something.

Nothing else going on that is cool to report.

5 Months and Growing!

Levi is 5 months old! Time has just flown by. We've celebrated his first Christmas, starting him on solids and 5 months of breastfeeding. He is becoming more vocal. Smiles more at Jacob. Enough of my chattering here he is!

Green Eyed Monster

I have been bitten by the Green Eyed Monster (aka jealousy). In a major way. I hate the way it makes me feel, act, think.

Recently I got a Kindle (yay!) and with that an amazon gift card (yes there is a point to all of this, which I am slowly getting at). I purchased a book by Meegan Meeker "The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers". Chapter 4 (I think), starts to talk about mothers being competitive and with that jealously.

I have a GREAT life. I really do. So what do I have to be jealous about? Honestly? Nothing. My husband has not one, but TWO great jobs (they pay the bills and feed us), both of our cars are paid for, I have two very handsome, very smart little boys, I am in good health and when I am focused, the baby weight comes off. What do I feel that is lacking, to make me jealous, thus sabotaging relationships before they begin?

I hate admitting this, but it needs to be done. I am insanely jealous of my brother and his wife. Why? My sister in law (sil) gets to have a life. One that does not involve if someone went potty, or getting puke (besides her own) in her hair, or having to find a babysitter just to get a few hours of blissful silence. I am jealous of the fact that they can pack up and just GO. They don't have the kids to worry about. While I get that they wish they had their own, I am jealous of the fact that they just get to be married. They get to build their relationship without the 2am wake up calls, the "Mommy I need my butt wiped" being yelled down the hallway, or having someone who is 3ft tall waiting to help them in the shower.

SIL and my brother also have friends. They get to do stuff with people other than each other. I miss that. Holidays are totally different too. Wanna go drink? Sure... there is no can we find a babysitter? Or do we have the money or does the baby need diapers.

I am rational enough to realize that it is not all peaches and cream on their side of the equation either. They have their own issues. SIL spent the first year of their marriage living without my brother while he served his country over seas. I know how hard that must have been. And here is some more jealousy too. Not that I would want my husband in harms way, but sometime without him around, at times, would be nice. Here lately, though, I get more of it than I would honestly like. He works SO much trying to take care of us.

I want to be better than her. Or I did. Until I was forced to remember that I am okay just me. We each have something to offer that is unique and different. I hope as we both grow older, we can some how, form a bond. One that only sisters can share.

Tonight I've had people in and out of my house picking up the miscellaneous household items I've sold. Usually I would start spazing out that my house does not appear to be clean enough. Instead I took a deep breath, looked around and opened the door for the first "customer". See, I am no longer competing (competition and jealousy are equally intertwined). So what if they look around and think I am a horrible housekeeper. I am busy making memories for my children, rather than creating neuroses.

I'm sure you are still wondering what that last paragraph has to do with the ones before it. For the last two years I have been intentionally or unintentionally competing with my SIL. To have a better marriage, better kids, a cleaner house, better cooked food. After a few days in thoughts and prayers, this is the conclusion I have come to; I only feel good around her if *I* am being complimented, or my kids. I mean, how shallow am I?

Working on yourself is always harder than just seeing what you want to see in others. And what I've wanted to see has not been pretty. I've wanted to see my SIL for less than what she is. Hoping that it in turn would make me feel better about what I imagine her to have that I don't. What it has done instead has made me hurt to be around her. Rather than seeing her for the intelligent, pretty, caring, tender person that she is, I've felt borderline hate.

All of this because I have been eaten alive by that Green Eyed Monster. Jealousy, unrecognized can cause major problems. I know the problem. I am going to do my best and love her no matter what. And I am going to love ME! What I have is pretty darn good, but jealousy made it look kinda blah. It has it days, not everyday is going to be glamorous, but its still wonderful, no matter what.